Life with the Brudfam

Better late than never

I am a bit behind in posting about Christmas.  Leading up to Christmas was stressful and busy, mostly because I am swamped at work and didn't have time to do all the preparations I would have liked to.  But the most important things were done:  thinking about & celebrating the birth of our Savior, and on a much more shallow and materialistic level, all the gifts were purchased.  

We spent Christmas Eve at my parents.  We ate all our traditional food:  homemade clam chowder, Jennifer's delicious bread, lots of dips, cheese and crackers.  And for my kids, the most memorable is the homemade egg nog. I'm not much of a milk or egg nog person, but homemade egg nog is undeniably delicious.  And we ended the night with a buche de noel, a log shaped cake filled with chocolate mousse.  Umm, I think I consumed 5000 calories that day.  But it was worth it.  Of course I don't have a single picture of the day, but my entire family was there, except my baby brother Dan & his wife Marci and kids, and it was so nice to spend the day together.  We read the Christmas story, sang carols and the kids had a talent show.  And then we headed home to go to sleep, the girls wearing their new jammies.


The Guy and I spent many hours wrapping gifts and finally got to bed around 3:30.  So we weren't that excited when the girls came to wake us up at 7:30.  They had to drag me out of bed.  After brushing teeth and drinking the obligatory orange juice, taking a family picture and resolving a few squabbles, we finally made it down to open gifts.  Santa brought the girls an XBox Kinect, which was a fun surprise.  We try to keep the gifts pretty basic, so each of our us got something in each category: WANT, NEED, WEAR, READ.  And of course there are grandparents gifts and stockings.  But we have found our kids appreciate their gifts and use their gifts more when we don't overwhelm them with too many things.

 

After gifts (and I got a new lens for my camera, hence these pictures), we had Grandpa Bruderer over for favorite Christmas Breakfast:  Eggs Benedict (made with fried Spam---I know, sounds gross, but is really good and is a long standing tradition in my family), cherry turnovers, hot chocolate and O.J.  We love that he wants to come over and spend time with us.

That evening, the Bruderers came over for Christmas Dinner.  We had such a lovely time hanging out together and letting the kids play.  Oh, and eating yummy food.  Especially the challah bread that Alena made and Jonathan's banana cream pies.  Another 3000 calories were very much enjoyed.

The next week was spent relaxing, reading (read TWO Harry Potter books!!), playing XBox and enjoying time together as a family.  The Guy took everyday but Thursday off, so we had a week and a half of time off from work.  It was just what we needed to reconnect and recharge our exhausting lives.  I was so sad when it was over.



Tomorrow Jeff goes in for his very first surgery in his life, sinus scraping surgery.  Sounds miserable to me, but he is looking forward to breathing through his nose, smelling and tasting again, so I think it will be worth it.  I'll be nursing him back to health over the next week (can you believe the doctor made him take a whole week off of work?).  Wish us luck.

Today I am...

1. Feeling sad.  The Provo Tabernacle has been on fire since the middle of the night.  Here are pictures of the roof collapsing early this morning.  So many memories here from as far back as I can remember.  Stake Conferences.  Messiah concerts. Graduations.  Such a loss.

**Pictures are from KSL.com

 

2. Taking care of this sick girl.  Strep throat has got her down and out today.

 

3. Trying to finish up addressing Christmas cards.  Thanks to Drama Queen for helping me last night...she made these look so cute!

 

4. Counting down to the big day.  Still have shopping and lots of wrapping left to do.

5. Enjoying the holidays!  Trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but that darn Harry Potter (book 6, audiobook is downloaded on my iPhone and is all I want to listen to) keeps me from listening to any holiday music.  

Grateful

We had a lovely Thanksgiving yesterday. We spent it at my parents home and ate a delicious and beautiful meal.  It couldn't have been nicer.  Until about 2 am this morning when I awoke with the flu. Spent some lovely time kneeling over my toilet and am in bed trying to kick this thing. I couldn't help thinking all day about what I am grateful for...in no particular order.

 

1. My faith.  Without the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, I can't imagine what my life would be.  And without the redeeming power of the atonement, I would be resigned to a life without hope.  Strength and courage to go on in difficult times are just two of the blessings from .

2. My sisters. I love them. Who would have thought we would end up being so close, loving working together and growing in unexpected and exciting ways together.  So happy that my sisters are my best friends.

3. My parents.  The selfless service and loving examples are inspirational to me.  I couldn't ask for better parents.

4. My brothers.  The are funny, smart and still put up with me. (I might have been a nagging, obnoxious older sister.  maybe.)

5.  A warm, safe home. As all things in my life, it's a work in progress (my project list is a mile long), but I am grateful for it.

6.  My 3 little girls, who aren't really little anymore.  Being a mother was always an important and driving force in my life.  And as hard as it sometimes is, it's also the most rewarding, meaningful and joyful blessing in my life.

7. My husband. Soulmate. Best friend extraordinaire. My biggest fan. My sounding board. He puts up with a lot in our house full of girls and he's managed to do it patiently and humorously. I adore him.

8. I don't take my good health for granted.  I've been blessed with a body strong enough to battle and beat cancer three times, and I feel so fortunate to still be here.  And I am working harder at taking better care of it.

9. Dear and loyal friends.  Who listen and encourage and stand as amazing role models for me.

10. A whole lot of trivial yet very handy + helpful "things".  My iPhone (and all things Apple). A car that runs after 9 1/2 years. A new furnace. The internet. Lip gloss.  My dog (ok, she is neither trivial or handy, but I love her). DVR so I can watch an occasional tv show.

Of course, there are lots of other tender mercies, blessings and things that fill my gratitude list this year. And I am so very grateful for them all.

Promises

My little Freckles is a worrier.  She was born that way.  And maybe it's genetic, because her mom was once a worrier too (and sometimes still is).  

When Freckles was just 14 months old, Blue Eyes was born and stole the limelight from her.  Pulled the rug from right under her two little feet that just learned to walk the weekend Blue Eyes was born. She didn't get to be a baby long enough.  

And then when Freckles was 16 months, I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the third time.  It was a traumatic time for all of us.  But it was particularly hard on Freckles.  She hated being away from me.  And I couldn't care for her.  I had pretty major surgery and was in the hospital for several days.  When I came home, I couldn't lift my arms or move much.  I couldn't pick up my girls or hold them.  My mom came and helped and took such great care of all the girls.  And me.  But Freckles wanted me to take care of her.  And when my mom had to leave and care for my dad who was having surgery, my neighbors and ward members came and took my kids every day.  Hannah would cry and cry.  I would cry and cry.  It was such a helpless feeling that I couldn't do my job as a mother.   After I started to heal from my surgery, I started chemotherapy and had weekly procedures to prepare for reconstruction surgery, and then finally more surgery.  It was nine months of turmoil.  And also nine months of joy.  The little things suddenly meant so much more.  When we look back at that time, we mostly remember the good. The miracles. The blessings.

Since that time, she has carried a lot of anxiety.  Asking lots of what-if questions.  Wondering if each bump or ache or cut is something really serious.  Is she going to die? Is there going to be an earthquake? Is the canker sore in her mouth really a tumor?  Rarely have I been able to give her answers that will soothe her.  Because I can't take the worry away from her, no matter what I say.

When she was little, she loved to pack little purses with her toys.  She always had a little purse (or big one) on her shoulder with her stuff in it.  And now she carries a little bag full of worries and concerns. Most of them are about her health.  She is so scared something bad will happen to her.  I do my best to comfort her and assure her that all is well.  And then she looks at me with those big brown eyes and begs me to promise her that nothing is wrong with her.  And that's where I fail her.  Or maybe that's where I'm true to her.  Because I can't guarantee it.  I can promise her that everything will be ok in the end, everything always has a way of working out, but I can't stop life from happening.  I am not in control of that.  

How do you teach a child that?  How do you explain that we are in the Lord's hands, that our job on earth is to do the best we can with whatever comes our way.  That bad things happen sometimes. But that we can't live in fear or worry because most of the time, life is really great.  And no matter how much you worry about something, worry won't change or fix it.  I want her to enjoy life and be carefree. Worry is like a thief, stealing away precious time. I want to teach her to be brave and strong, to not let that thief steal her childhood.   Wish me luck.

I spent three intense and fun days working in LA with my sisters this week. We had a great time, despite working 10-12 hour days. And we were ready to get home by the time we arrived at the Long Beach airport last night. I was slightly annoyed by the lady in front of me who kept setting off the alarm each time she walked thru the security gate..  Of course it's a small airport and there was only one x-ray machine in use and the line was long.  I think I might have mumbled to Jennifer that this lady was taking forever and she should really have been prepared to go thru....like taking off her jewelry and belt.  I think it took her 3 times before she finally walked thru clean.  

Then it was my turn and I walked thru very smuggly.  Beep.  Oops.  It's probably your bracelet, said the officer.  So I throw my bracelets in a round container and try again.  Beep.  Do you have a belt on, he asked.  No.  But my cell phones in my back pocket.  Dang.  Back to grab another round container and send that thru the machine.  Third times a charm, right?  Wrong.  Your earrings are probably setting it off, the officer smiled patiently at me.  So I send those thru the machine in another round container.  Each time my confidence has been zapped and at this point I timidly walk thru, expecting to hear another beep. But there's no beep.  I made it thru!

I wonder how many people were watching me go thru over and over and thinking, come on lady, get it together.  Be prepared.  I sat down afterwards and told Colette and Jennifer my story.  And I couldn't stop laughing at myself.  It was humbling to have my judgements and impatience come smack me in the face like that.  It's so easy to judge and become frustrated with others.  But we often overlook our own shortcomings while criticizing and looking down at those around us.  

So we sat and laughed out loud for a few minutes.  The more we laughed, the funnier (is that a word?) it became.  People around us were looking at us, wondering what the crazy ladies were laughing about.  We kept on laughing and laughing at my own stupidity.  

When the laughing finally stopped, we shared 6 mini cupcakes from the famous LA bakery Rossmoor Pastries. There's nothing like a little chocolate to make you feel better.

 

Back to school

Although none of us were too excited for school to start, we made the best of the end of summer and held our annual back to school night dinner. The Guy grilled us some yummy chicken; I made potatoes and salad. We had sliced watermelon and crusty whole wheat bread. Oh, and two bottles of sparkling apple juice. It was delicious in my fun new turquoise glasses I got on sale at World Market. I love them.

After dinner, we talked about the upcoming year. For me, each fall seems like a New Year's and I always want to make new goals. We asked the girls about things we could improve on as a family {less fighting, waking up on time} and what we felt we were doing well {family time, eating healthier}.

Finally, all the girls, including me, received Father's blessings. I love this tradition. My dad used to do this when I was growing up, and it was such a comfort to me. I was the nervous type and spent way too much time worrying, especially the night before school started. But the blessings I received gave me courage and peace when I couldn't find it on my own. Of course I appreciate it now even more. It makes my heart happy to see my own husband placing his hands on my girls heads and to see the faith and trust that they have in Heavenly Father.

Between the excitement in the air and our festivities, the bad habit of getting to bed late all summer long was not broken. Add that to our list of things to improve on. Despite the late bedtime though, I have a feeling it's going to be a great year.

Hot.

It's 5:30 am.  Sweaty and frustrated, I jumped out of bed at 5.  It's hot in my house.  The air conditioner went out yesterday for the second time this month.  It's 85 in the house, and that makes it hard to sleep. The girls are smart--they are sleeping in the basement.  The Guy and I decided to sweat it out in our room with the windows open and the fans blowing.  It usually cools off in the night, but not last night. It's 80 right now outside, and there's not much of a breeze, so even with the windows open, the air in the house is heavy and stagnant.

Last night we had a Lime Ricki company BBQ at our house.  As I scrambled to get ready, my cute next door neighbor and friend Julie came over and helped me set up tables and chairs (which she let us borrow), she made a last minute run to the store for more sodas and ice, arranged flowers for me and then, in the truest act of friendship, she got on her hands and knees and washed my kitchen floor.  She is so thoughtful and willing to lend a hand.  Thanks, Julie!

The BBQ turned out lovely.  Didn't take a single picture.  Bummer.  But it was lovely to spend the evening with our employees and their families.

I've been thinking a lot about this scripture.  It is comforting and encouraging.  Hopeful.  I need the reminder that the Lord is with me.  How can I teach that to my children?  That they have an extra measure of courage and strength when they remember that Lord is with them.

School starts Monday.  Unless it gets too hot and we all end up lying under the direct blow of a fan, we plan on celebrating the start of a new school year after church today.  Sparkling apple juice.  Chicken and potatoes.  Goals.  Father's blessings.  It's a tradition we all look forward to.  We are ready for school to start.  We need routine and discipline after a non-structured summer.  And an earlier bedtime.

Blue Eyes was stung or bit by something yesterday morning on her leg.  We called poison control at 10:30 last night as there was a 3 1/2 inch circle of redness surrounding the bite.  They said to give her some benedryl and call if it gets worse.  I'm hoping she wakes feeling better.

 

 

Eighteen years and counting

I met The Guy when I was only 19.  We dated a year and a half before we wed when I was 20.  Little did I know what a great husband he would make.  He is the best.

To celebrate our 18th anniversary, we went to our favorite temple (where we were married as well as both of our parents) to do sealings.  I loved hearing those beautiful promises again and recommitting myself to be a better wife.  Not in the cook more, clean more way.  But to love unconditionally.  To remember that the Lord is a third partner in our marriage.  And to make our relationship and our family my number one priority.

And now, 18 reasons, plus one for good measure, why I love The Guy:

1. He encourages and believes in me.

2. He reminds me not to gossip or speak ill of others.

3. He loves our girls.  A lot.

4. He cared for me through three pregnancies, three victories over cancer, lots of trials and tests of our faith, as well as lots and lots of good times.

5. He puts up with my emotions.

6. He tells me I am beautiful, even when I think I'm not.

7. He works hard for our family.

8. He believes in himself.

9. He encourages me to be independent.

10. He tells me that I can when I think I can't.

11. He blesses our home with the priesthood.

12. He patiently answers 20 calls from his daughters/me each day and never gets frustrated or bugged that we call him so much.

13. He is handsome.

14. He is romantic.  I love it when he writes me love notes.

15. He loves his family.

16. He loves my family.

17. He loves the Lord.

18. He makes breakfast for the girls every day of school.

19. He wants to be with me forever.  Lucky me.

 

We may have more wrinkles (and one of us has a lot less hair), but we are certainly more in love and more committed than we were 18 years ago.  And we were crazy in love then.  I can't wait to see what the next 18 have in store for us.

I love my sisters

I have the best sisters.  They have become my best friends (and who would have thought that twenty years ago?  Not me.).  And working together has brought us even closer. We are so lucky.  We work hard at it. And we have a lot of fun together.

My mom snapped these photos before an important business meeting we had a few weeks ago and I love them.  The pictures and the sisters.

How awesome is it that we all three managed to blink at the same time.  Seriously.

 

Gee Mom, I wanna go!

Mom: Where do you wanna go?

Freckles: Gee Mom, I wanna go to camp.

Mom: What?

Freckles has been someone of a homebody, especially when it comes to school.  From kindergarten thru 2nd grade, she cried nearly everyday of school.  She had some anxiety about being away from me (really, can you blame her? ha).

So when she announced that she wanted to go to summer camp with her school this summer, I was a bit surprised.  And maybe a little reluctant.  But who am I to hold this determined girl back? So off she went to camp for 3 days.   She was so brave when I dropped her off.  No tears.  I knew she felt nervous, and maybe even regretted her decision, but she kept it all together and pushed her fears aside.  She was one of the first kids on the bus.  She sat by herself on the second row.  I could see her big, anxious eyes thru the tinted windows.  I'll admit I wanted to run on the bus and sit by her.  But I just smiled and waved, and caught all the kisses she blew to me until the bus drove off.

Sometimes it is so hard to let go of my kids.  I wanted to chase the bus down and bring her home with me.  But I had to let her do this.  And trust that she would be ok.

She was.  She got homesick the first night.  Luckily, she told a friend who told her camp counselor and they stepped right in and cheered her up.  And she remembered to pray.  When she came home she announced that she had a testimony of prayer.  That Heavenly Father hears her prayers and comforts her when she is afraid.

The second night she did better.  She remembered to pray again.

The third night was the best because she was home!  We did lots of cuddling and chatting about what she learned and what fun she had.  She gained so much confidence in herself, and learned such a powerful lesson that can help her for the rest of her life.  We couldn't be more proud of her.  Or happy that she is home!